PokeTV: Stay Tuned, Folks
by TheNooby
Summary: Ever wondered what people watch on those millions of TV's scattered across the Pokemon World? I'm glad you asked! Cracky humor, drugs, beastial yuri, Chuck Norris, and Mr. T abound!
1. Prolouge

**Prolouge:**

It was a hot night, and the sun was setting over the forest. The Trainer walked in the door after his long journey, and, seeing that his mother wasn't home, he sat on the couch, grabbed a soda and some chips from his refridgerador, turned on the television. With a flicker, the TV popped on to... Cinemax ... "The following program should be viewed with discretion for adult materials." A lusty feminine voice whispered as a title appeared that said 'I heard u liek Mudpimpz' in blown-up letters.

"Whoa! What has Mom been watching?" The Trainer exclaimed in horror as he changed the channel: "I wonder what's on the news?" He said as he changed the channel to the news network. Suddenly, a strangely deep and charismatic (but goofily feminine) came on the televison: "Hellloooo people! This is the INN!"

'_I wonder what's been happening since I've been gone?_' The Trainer thought as the weather report started. 


	2. Chapter 1

_**CHAPTER I: INNsanity**_

On the other side of the the TV that our hero was watching, a great news report was to get started. "Okay, Fred, let's get that weather report on!" Rick Char, the dashing news reporter, said in his deep and charismatic (if not somewhat girly) voice. Fred Wether, nuzzling his Castform (which he named Cloudy), heard what Rick said, and loosed his Castform into the sky (as the creature floats like a balloon) after placing a weather tracking machine on it. By the time the cameras switched to him, Fred had an extensive map of global weather.

"Rick, today we have beautiful weather across the world! Arceus be praised, we have some lovely skiing weather up in Sinnoh, with the high in Littleroot Town being a frosty -60 degrees farenheit! Johto and Hoenn are basking in some lovely beach weather, but Kanto will be getting a muggy heat wave and some nasty swarms of Beedrill! Isshu, once again, will be getting some temperate weather. Okay, Cloudy, come back over here!" Rick's report was over, and some kids in the audience got to play with Cloudy, whose light weight allowed him to be bounced as if a ball.

Rick, however, was getting some coffee, and trying to avoid audience members, especially kids. Oh, how he hated children, and he especially hated Pokemon, having secretly tried to kill Cloudy once or twice. Of course, news must be told, and for every ounce of hate he had for Pokemon, he had love for a good piece of news, especially gossip. Today was no exception.

"Today in gossip news!" Rick said with a twinkling in his eyes, and a special charm to his voice, trying to keep his eyes away from Cloudy. "We have the most juicy scandal of our times: News reports from our dear boy Papparazi (who had been killed only hours earlier by a hungry Meguroko while taking a pee during a photo shoot in the Isshu desert) give us a video of Grand Champion of Sinnoh Cynthia *cough cough* getting on the good foot to do the bad thing *snickering* with her beloved Garchomp in a Johto hotel!" Suddenly, a shocking video rolled, which was almost constantly censored, whose contents I won't give shippers the joy of knowing about. After the video rolled Rick Char sat in his chair with his trollface on. The Trainer, watching from the business end of the televison, had a trollface on as well, being quite (strangely) pleased with what he had just seen, being a horndog 14-year old.

On the side of the televison where the news block was being filmed, Rick Char had announced that another reporter was having an interview with Cynthia, and that it was to be filmed live:  
Maroon Sneedly, roving reporter extraordinaire, had just stalked Cynthia to her home on a remote island in the Sinjoh Sea, and had entered her house, without knocking. Sneedly was a man of many talents, he was his own film crew, bouncer, and he was good around weasling in and out of any situation.  
Cynthia was asleep when Sneedly broke in, and her Roserade (who now had a shoemark in her fragile, flowerlike face) was there to answer the door. Cynthia's Gastrodon was tending her master's garden, her Lucario was taking a shower, her Spiritomb was hiding in a closet, and her Milotic was circling the water around the island.  
"Hey, Cynthia, you there, little lady?" Sneedly said in his annoying New Yorker accent, in a very loud tone. His unshaved chin stubble was being scratched by his hand as he was taking off his dirty boots, sitting on Cynthia's massage chair (in her living room), and turning on her XBOX 360 to play a game, while treating himself to a BLT, scrounged out of Cynthia's fridge.

On the other side of the world, in Jubilife TV Networking, the INN was waiting for a signal from Sneedly. Fred Wether, not one to not take action, picked up his iDex4 (Pokegear+iPhone+Pokedex), and called Sneedly. "Hey, roving retard extraordinaire! We need some interview footage to follow up that scandal! I can't wait forever, because the local reviews won't satisfy our viewers!"  
In Hoenn, the Trainer was sitting on the couch. "Wow, all this extra crap is gonna bore me outta mah gourd! I need a sex scandal! Not _this_!"  
In the Sinjoh Sea, at Cynthia's house. Sneedly replied to his call: "Well, uh, she hasn't woken up yet! I'm playin' games on her XBOX (she has quite a taste in gaming) real loud to wake her up, but she's still sleeping like the dead! And if she's... you know... with her Garchomp, I ain't going up there! Let me finish my *munch munch munch* BLT. *munch munch nom nom swallow*"

Sneedly, being charged 50,000 Pokebux for stalling (and having lollygagged for 45 minutes, he was risking too much now), had decided to man up and go to Cynthia's room. He knocked on the door and kicked it down. Garchomp (who was in her pink fuzzy Pokeball), was nowhere to be found, and Cynthia was looking lovely in her bed. Sneedly, however, was not a man to stare at women while sleeping. He took a last bite of his BLT, and stomped forward, loomed over the Champion, started the film rolling, and yelled as loud as he could in Cynthia's face.

10,000 miles away, the Trainer was finally getting what he wanted. A good sex scandal interview (not to mention, most of Cynthia's body was blurred out)! It was like Christmas in July for his eyes!

Rick Char, smirking, watched Sneedly's interview.

"Sneedly: So, Cynthia, have you heard of, *picks up Garchomp's Pokeball* the scandal involving you and your special friend?  
Cynthia *holding her pretty parts away from perverted eyes*: Yes, and I'm disgusted your news network would film me making love! I will sue your network for 4,000,000 Pokebux!  
Sneedly *about to choke on his BLT*: What? That much!  
Cynthia: Yes. Now, get out of my house, or I will loose this *picks up Garchomp's ball* on you.  
Sneedly: Well, I don't know why your'e so unhappy, I just set a huge record for you on your Modern Warfare 2 game! Also, I made BLT's!  
Cynthia *stifling hatred*: So, you made yourself confortable in my house. *opens Pokeball* I'll be seeing you in Hell, Sneedly.  
Sneedly: Wh- *gets ripped apart by Garchomp*"

At Jublife TV, Rick Char and Fred Wether did a memorial service to Paparazzi and Sneedly, and ended the show.

On the other side of the television, our hero was very pleased. "Well, that was pretty good. I wonder what else is on?" The Trainer said, flicking through the channels, because nothing was really on, he simply landed on a nature documentary. 


	3. Chapter 2

_**CHAPTER II: The Wild!**_

17,000 miles across the sea from Hoenn, in Johto, Mr. Pokemon eagerly awaited the grand opening of his nature documentary, PokeEarth. In his documentary, he had chronicled the habits of wild Pokemon across the world, and he was not going to miss it. "Stop the Arceusdamned commercials! I don't want to know about the Apricorn Tumbler or a stupid 1-800 number from Eusine about Suicune sightings! Sheesh! Just play the documentary already!"

On the other side of the TV, the show was starting:  
"Welcome to the show, folks." Mr. Pokemon said, in an aged English accent, which made him sound extremely cheesy. "Today, we will be exploring the lives of wild Pokemon around the world! For our first subject, we will be exploring the life of the Magikarp." In a flash, a picture of a flowing river appeared, and all of a sudden, two miserable beings started flopping about. You got it, Magikarp. "One of the most common Pokemon in the world, the Magikarp is known for flopping in and out of the water, making it easy prey for anything else." The picture then showed slow-motion footage of a Magikarp being carried off by a Hoppip.

This was all very entertaining for The Trainer, who, on the business end of the television, had just gotten high off dried Paras shrooms with his Blaziken, who he was smoking them with. "Duuuudee..." The Trainer said in a totally baked voice. "That thing just ate... uhh... he just ate that Magi... Magii... krud!" Hysterical laughter went all around, and Blaziken, in a miserable attempt to speak, mumbled, "Razzle flazzle, bloobly blah. KOKADOODLE DOO!" Of course, this was also found hillarious.

Half a world away, in Johto, Mr. Pokemon was eagerly watching. "Ah, just beautiful! Now, I wonder what's in the fridge?" He said in an obvious Southern accent, and got up to go get a snack. Mr. Pokemon, heading towards the fridge, tripped on a stack of papers, which caused him to break his knee. Not minding, he continued his epic journey of pain and determination to get a snack. He opened the fridge with all his might, and found nothing. He had forgotten to go to the store for food, and all he could find was a wedge of rotten Miltank cheese, wrapped in aged Pokabu bacon, and laced with pure Skiploom leaf, a powerful hallucinogenic.  
5 minutes later.  
"Whoa, man! That was cool!" Mr. Pokemon said, tripping on weird cheese.

In the documentary, the show was now focusing on a great species of Pokemon, the Gible. "In its dry cave habitat, the Gible is one of the most succesful predators in the world, have a higher kill-failure ratio per every hunt than its evolved form Garchomp, only superceeded by Meguroko or Sharpedo." The picture showed a small Gible digging in a cave. Suddenly, it became alerted to something. "Snort, snort, snort, razzle!" The strange little landshark said as it charged its prey, a Dugtrio, with all its might. Suddenly, like a mad Scottish gardener, it uprooted the Dugtrio an swallowed the three conjoined Pokemon whole. Of course, its parent Garchomp had brought back a dead Shimama for its child, only to find he was already full. "In nature, there are also Pokemon with strange abilities, one of these is Abra. Watch as it does something amazing!" Mr. Pokemon said with the ultimate cheese in his accent. The picture showed an Abra sitting on the grass. Suddenly, it noticed the cameraman and teleported away.

"Whoa... duuuede!" The Trainer and Mr. Pokemon said simultaneously. "KAWKAW!" Blaziken screamed, engaging another round of hysterical laughter between him and the Trainer.  
On Cynthia's island home, the Champion had recently had Gastrodon use Maroon Sneedly's mutilated remains as fertilzer for her flowers, quickly cleaning up the horrible mess he had made. In her bed, she was cuddling up to her sleeping Garchomp, rubbing her marble-smooth, rock-hard, warm scaly neck with great pleasure, and kissed its neck. "Grrr... Snrl, gsshh..." Garchomp rumbled, telling her master that she did not feel like 'it' that night. "Oh well." Cynthia said, understanding her beloved pet's plea. "Don't worry, I'll sue the network tomorrow," She said as she kissed Garchomp again, this time slightly lower. "Hey, I wonder what's on TV? Oooh! A nature documentary." "Moaan! Grashlll..." Garchomp said, trying to convince her master to lower the volume. "Okay lovey." Cynthia said as she kissed Garchomp again, once again lower on her pet's back.  
I'm not sure who's wearing the pants. And I don't want to know.

The nature documentary was now covering the Pikachu line. "This species of Pokemon is one of the most intriguing in the world, actually possesing human intellegence. Watch this clip, supposedly of tribal Pikachu living in the Isles of Hoenn, and decide for yourself." Suddenly, a clip rolled of Pikachu and Pichu, covered in black body paint and wearing random masks, holding strange spears and knives, doing a tribal dance by a raging bonfire. Coming out of a hut was a chieftain Raichu, with a plethora of piercings, and a harem of female Gardevoir behind him, he was holding a knife shaped like a Seviper, and sensing nervosity in his audience, silenced them. "Ooga taboka, malookty. Pikachu!" Cheering soared out of the crowd as a runt-of-the-litter Pichu stepped forward. The chieftain Raichu held the knife over the little creature, and drove it into his head, likely a sacrifice of some sort. In their cheer, the crowd buzzed with electricity. The video stopped rolling, as the camera short-circuited.

In Hoenn, the Trainer was all like, "Duuuude, we should so totally go there some time and catch one of those thingys... Duuude..." Blaziken, who was even more baked, replied, "OKKA TOKKA BOKKA!" More hysterical peals of laughter.  
In Johto, Mr. Pokemon had passed out, being tired from his acid trip, and the last clip was just too much for his trippy mind.  
In Cynthia's home, the Champion was enjoying the documentary, having put Garchomp in her Pokeball so she could sleep more soundly that night. "Hmm... how nice. I wonder what they'll show next."

In the documentary, the action was starting to end. "For our last part, we will show the amazing journey of bravery and will, of the Magikarp to the Lake of Rage. *sniffle*" This clip showed the other Magikarp flopping towards a waterfall. He went by highway, by road. He went weeks without food, he dodged death at every turn, battling for his life every minute. Every other minute, he had to deal with a broken heart (as his mate was the Magikarp that had been eaten by a Hoppip), broken bones, and the creulty of nature. He hitched a ride when he could not flop around, he flopped around when he could not hitch a ride. Suddenly, he found it, the waterfall. He fell, and accepting his fate, he received his reward. With a roar of glory he became a Gyarados. A shiny Gyarados. A moment later, someone threw a Master Ball at him.

Both the Trainer and Cynthia were over come with emotion. Their Pokemon's reaction? Well, Garchomp was asleep, and Blaziken was taking a dump in the litterbox when the last clip was rolling. When the documentary ended, Cynthia went to sleep. Bored, and stoned, the Trainer flipped through the channels. Suddenly, the remote almost magnetically made him go to the channel that was showing 'Walker, Isshu Ranger' in HD. The Trainer, overcome with awe, saw a face he had never expected to see. Chuck Norris.


	4. Chapter 3 Warning: Mediocre

_**CHAPTER III: Chuck Norris vs. Mr.T!**_

As the Trainer watched, wowed at Chuck Norris, Professor Oak felt a disturbance. In his laboratory, where he had fell asleep on the desk, where he was reading his scrapbook of his times with Delia and Red, he felt around for his Manetric (TM) brand taser gun. "Is there anyone there?" He said, a little shocked. The lights turned on, it was Professor Araragi. In her Texan accent, she said. "Hey, compadre! Put on your underwear, we have a talk show to attend to! And, yeah, why were you reading a scrapbook, naked? And, uh-" Oak, knowing she knew his secrets, simply said. "I have done things I'm not proud of, madam, let me get my things and we'll go."

Back in Hoenn, the trainer, still baked, was watching the amazingness of Chuck Norris. "Walker was hungry, so he went to a ghost town named Huin, where the meanest, rootinest, tootinest dictator in all of Isshu lived. Mr. T." Chuck Norris was riding on his steed, a Shimama evo, that was named Ragin' Thunderbolt. He rode up to Huin City (or, Huin Town), and asked for a beer. Suddenly, the man declined, and was roundhouse kicked. Suddenly, the mayor of the town was awoken. On his Ononokusu, with gold chains, wheel spinners, landing gear, and machine gun turrets on its back. "I pity the foo' who be kickin' my citizens!" Mr.T said as he crossed his arms and nodded his head. Chuck Norris turned around, on Ragin' Thunderbolt, and said, calmly. "We deul at sunset tonight, to the death. Bring your steed. May the best man win." Mr.T accepted by crossing his arms and nodding his head. "I pity the foo' who challenges we to a deul. Mr.T Jr.!" He said, motioning to his Ononokusu, "Show him your power!" A few seconds later, Mr.T Jr. had leveled the tavern they were infront of. "Good work, compadre." Chuck Norris said. "I'll see you, come sunset."

When it went to commercials, the Trainer and Blaziken did a knuckle touch, which seared the skin off the Trainer's hand. He didn't mind, instead he replied, "Duuuude! Your'e hot!" "RakakaKAKADOODLEDOO!" Blaziken said, agreeing.

Oak was at the INNN (International News Network) when he spotted an old friend of his. Rick Char, whose name was a pseudonym for David, had noticed Oak too. "Could it be? Oak, it's you!" Oak, who remembered him (and saw in him) the little boy he had taught and loved, gave his old friend a hug. "My how you have grown!" Oak exclaimed. "Oh you old pervert! You've taught me everything!" Of course, after the word pervert, David's voice became more hostile, he tied up Oak's mouth with duct tape and knocked him into his dressing room. "I saw what you did to Millie, I spied on you, during your darkest moments!" He said, pulling out a knife. "You, you monster, I looked up to you, and what if my reward? You taught me to hate everyhting about you, you killed my innocence. And now, I will avenge it." Crying, Rick plunged the knife into Oak's hand, and ran out of the building. Taking the duct tape out of his mouth and using it to bind his hand, Oak got on stage with the other professors. "Schymnholt Oeik, vat haz happended to yehr hand-schovictch?" Professor Birch said in his mad scientist voice. "Birch, this is my payment, for my sins." Oak grimly replied.

Meanwhile on the show Walker, Isshu Ranger, Norris was ready to deul Mr.T. Mr.T, riding on his Ononokusu, and Norris, on his Shimama evo, went into the proper posture for a deul. "So, T, are you ready to die?" Chuck Norris said, warming up his legs for a roundhouse kick. "I pity the foo' who thinks Mr.T will die." Mr.T said, fixing Mr.T Jr.'s turrets. A great battle was to start.  
Out of nowhere, Mr.T screamed "PWNAGE!" suddenly, bullets started flying and Ononokusu used Draco Meteor. "Okay, Ragin' Thunderbolt, go, use Thunder Armor." Ragin' used his Thunder Armor, and Chuck got a good aim at Mr.T. Mr.T knew what was coming, and Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked Mr.T just as Mr.T punched Chuck Norris. The resulting black hole sucked the Trainer's Blaziken back into his ball, the high out of his head, and Chuck Norris and Mr.T themselves, killing their steeds, changing the channels, and landing the two in our world.

The Trainer, now fully concscious, saw that the show had been changed to 'The Professor Show!'. He had heard from Trainers he had battled that the show had just as much controversy as INN. "Oh, boy! More sex scandals! Count me in!"


	5. Chapter 4 and Epilouge

_**CHAPTER IV: The Grand Finale**_

The Trainer was sitting in his couch when he heard a knock. It was his mother! "Honey, I'm home!" She screamed, expecting her son's father to be home. "Mom, it's me!" The Trainer said. "Hey have you heard about the sex scandal?" "Yeah," His mom said, "I saw the video, that was disgusting! So, whatchya watchin'?" "The Professor Show, of course." Son said to mother, "Sweet, get out the chips. Also, I saw what Blaziken did in the litterbox. You clean it." "Dang." The Trainer said to his mom as the show started with a cheesy theme song.

"Welcome to the Professor Show!" DJ Mary said. "Today, we have a very special guest who has a question..." She started to frown, and almost vomited in his mouth. "Can Pokemon crossbreed with humans. I'M BEING PAID FOR THIS! WHAT!" From in front of the TV, the Trainer's Mom said, "You know, she's so ugly when she's angry." Back behind the TV, however, things were about to go from bad to worse. "And our special guest today, Riley!" Riley, who had flown from Iron Island to Jubilife City only an hour earlier, had come to the INNN for a visit. "Yes, here I am. I'm not the special guest. This is." He said as he dropped a Pokeball on the ground, releasing its contents. Here are the reactions.  
Oak: *silence, and a nervous look on his face, heads to the bathroom*  
Elm: *nomming on a burrito* "Well what do we have heaayr?" (He has food in his mouth)  
Birch: *puts a pinky to his mouth* "Ze mahdnehz! I muhzt vihvhizkt it aht zis moment!" (He has a heavy German accent)  
Rowan: "Blimey, what a crazy little bugger that is!" (He has a light Scottish accent)  
Araragi: *gasping in horror* (She has a heavy Texan accent)  
DJ Mary: *vomiting on the floor*

The small creature was a Riolu. Except... it was weaing a little dress. Considering the context of the question this was related to, such a thing was disgusting. "This," Riley said, "Is my daughter. Uh.. Yeah." He said, rubbing his neck and handing Riolu a piece of chocolate.  
In the bathroom, Oak looked at his hand, the one that had been stabbed earlier. It wasn't. Strange huh? Yes, the events of Chapter III were a time-space anomaly caused by Chuck Norris and Mr.T performing their signature moves upon eachother on live TV.

Meanwhile, in Hell, Sneedly was talking to Eusine. "So, you walked across a train track, when Suicune ran across it? Don't you think he was trying to get you killed? Shouldn't you have a gun or something?" Sneedly said. "Hey, I died doing what I enjoyed!" Eusine said. "And I still have my 1-800 number operating!" "Epic fail." Sneedly said.  
A knock on the apartment came, it was Giratina, who owned Hell (aka The Distortion World), and he was _pissed_. "Ahem, sirs! All new guests to my domain do not mention their deaths until a week after entrance!" Giratina was a sadistic bastard of a Pokemon, as he hated all life as it was, and the recent space-time anomaly had made quite a few of his 'guests' to come and dissapear. So he was _pissed_.  
"Please don't kill me!" Sneedly pleaded, Eusine just kept silent in pure terror. "I can see, but you're already dead!" Giratina said in his cold, demonic voice. "Might I be more congenial?" He said as he coughed up his Griseous Orb, putting him in his Altered Forme. "So now am I more decent sounding?" Giratina exclaimed in a faux girly voice. After seeing to that his 'guests' were well terrified, he swallowed his Griseous Orb, returning him to his Origin Forme, and he slithered off.

Back on PokeEarth, the Trainer and his Mom were watching the talk show in shock. In the time it took for Giratina to tend to Hell, the talk show had passed into total anarchy.  
Riley, stuck to his couch in terror, watched as Riolu was being dissected alive by Professor Birch, Araragi was giving him a decent Texan talkin' to, Elm was sloppily finishing his burrito, and Rowan, being an aggravated Scotsman, was beating the living Muk out of the producer. After the director forced them to stop, and had Riley take his (mutilated) daughter home. On the way out of the building, he bumped into Champion Cynthia. "Oh, my it's!-" "Cynthia, I know, now, I'm looking for the CEO of the INNN. I am to sue him for a large sum of.-" Cynthia interrupted. "What! What! Your'e going in that building!" Riley screamed in horror. "Look what they did to my daughter!" He said as he held up Riolu, whose guts were hanging out, and her skin was half parted from her body, similar to many a Poliwag in a science class. Snickering nervously, Cynthia replied: "I will pay for your daughter's reproductive surgery in full. Hell, your'e kinky. I'd date you, if I wasn't already taken." She said as she kissed her Garchomp, who snarled at Riolu. "I should lay off the Dream Smoke." Riley muttered beneath his breath as he tried to pour some rubbing alchohol on his Riolu's exposed areas.

Back in Hoenn, The Trainer had flown to the beach on his Yanmega to get the beach weather promised to him earlier, knowing he would find babes. His mother, however, was watching cooking shows, which I will get to later.

At the INNN, Cynthia had walked up to the CEO (who was enjoying an Orange Island Cigar), holding a copy of her (uncensored) sex tape. "Hello, sir. I'd like to report on this film." As the CEO tried to talk, Garchomp loomed in his face, charging up her Flamethrower to show she meant business. "I think my friend *smooch* has already shown what I mean. I'm very angry you showed this. Let me show you." Once again, the film rolled, except it was much longer, and more scandalous.  
Fifty minutes later.  
The CEO had a trollface on like never before. "Well, you see why I'm angry. I'd like to sue for 4,000,000 Pokebux." The CEO was flabbergasted. "What! That's most of my shows! All the most popular shows are the..." The heat coming out of Garchomp's mouth had relit his cigar butt and singed his tupee. He was too frightened to talk, let alone close his eyes. "4 million. Did I not say otherwise? You think me an idiot? Do not fuck with me, you sniveling Bidoof, or I will have you for dinner, and Garchomp is a damn good chef." As Cynthia said this (in the most ominous tone she knew), the CEO fainted, knowing there were only two ways out, death, or bankruptcy. He chose bankruptcy.

On the beaches of Slateport City, however, The Trainer was watching televison at someone else's house, eating a BLT, having enjoyed a full day of hitting on girls (and getting mauled by one particularly angry woman armed with a Wailord), he thought to himself... 'what would Mom be watching?'  
Fifty minutes later.  
'A cooking show!' As such, he changed it to a cooking show, specifically, "Cyrus and Giovanni: Illegally Good Cuisine!". "Hey, weren't these guys both arrested?" He said. But he didn't mind, another adventure was waiting for him behind that screen. 

_**THE END  
NOT QUITE  
Epilogue:**_

On the other side of the TV, in International Maximum Security Prison, "Today on Illegally Good Cuisine, we will be cookin' Shimama steak with boiled Oddish on the side." Cyrus said, trying to sound cheery (which made him even creepier). Having been arrested after escaping the Distortion World, he was wearing a black and white striped jumpsuit, the same with Giovanni, and their kitchen was obviously a jail mess hall. "Ah, yes, first you must get a steak!" Giovanni said in a New Yorker accent as he released a Shimama and three Oddishes out of their Pokeballs, "Now, to prepare the steak, if your'e using a live animal, you'll need a chainsaw!" Cyrus exclaimed in joy as he went Jason Voorhees on Giovanni's Shimama, listening to its screams of horror and pain in ectsasy, finally producing him five large steaks. "Okay Giovanni, do your stuff!" Cyrus said as Giovanni spiced up the Shimama steaks with some heavy dry rubs. "Got it Cyrus. Now, let's boil that Oddish!" Giovanni picked up the Oddish by its middle, who was happily smiling when Giovanni used a pair of hedge clippers to cut off its head leaves and legs, putting it in a pot of boiling water, and did this to the other three. "Now, Cyrus, let's fire up that grill!" Giovanni said to Cyrus as Cyrus lit up the grill and put on the steaks. "Oh, Giovanni, those Oddishes are done!" Cyrus said as he ran to get out the Oddishes. "Now, to pare the Oddishes." Cyrus exclaimed, cutting the still-alive Oddishes in half, then cutting the halves into fourths, once again enjoying their screams of pain. "Hey, Cyrus, get the steaks off the grill!" Giovanni screamed to Cyrus (he was beating up Jessie and James, who were visiting, for once again not catching Red's Pikachu). A few minutes later, the meal was done. "Now," Said Cyrus, "For the garnish! A little bit of Sitrus leaves... And alot of human blood!" Suddenly, Cyrus slit his wrist over the dish, letting himself bleed out a little. "Oh, sweet death!" The madman screamed as he plunged a knife into his heart. Giovanni, taking advantage of the commotion, escaped from the prison, on Live TV.

The Trainer, bored, turned off the TV, and decided to leave the house, taking some chips and soda with him. Suddenly, he bumped into the woman who had almost killed him with her Wailord. It was Cynthia. She grabbed the BLT out of his hands, picked up her Garchomp-colored XBOX 360 controller, and stared into the teenager's eyes. "Hmmm... I see. So, you made yourself comfortable in my beach house?" She said, stifling hatred, holding a pink, fluffy Pokeball...

_**THE END**_


End file.
